About

Oh hi hello there. I'm Mallory Blair. Welcome to my internet space. I am a 21-year-old little thing.

With this tumblog, I promise kittens and balls of yarn for the kittens to play with. There will some making out and a lot of hand-holding. I hope that when you are lonely and lost on the outmost corners of the interweb, you can come here and find yrself and feel the good vibrations. You are special and no one can touch that!


WELCOME MAT


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    February 1, 2010
    While Chris is getting his hair cut in this meta metal world, I am hanging out with the salon’s doggie dogg.  I think I am going to take a break from “blogging” and spend more time “channeling my puppy spirit animal.”  Nothin’ melodramatic, just more time chasing after frisbees, sniffing tails, that sort of thing.  I will be leaving up the “ask” box (finally added the anonymous feature as I was a little e-nept before) as well as a “submissions” section so you, dear friends, can keep Malz Werld running if and when you feel like it.

    While Chris is getting his hair cut in this meta metal world, I am hanging out with the salon’s doggie dogg.  I think I am going to take a break from “blogging” and spend more time “channeling my puppy spirit animal.”  Nothin’ melodramatic, just more time chasing after frisbees, sniffing tails, that sort of thing.  I will be leaving up the “ask” box (finally added the anonymous feature as I was a little e-nept before) as well as a “submissions” section so you, dear friends, can keep Malz Werld running if and when you feel like it.

    February 1, 2010

    I know we’ve only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week, and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again, and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day, you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

    January 27, 2010
    Fred caught me in the library.  Wearing CURE clothes.  Again.

    Fred caught me in the library.  Wearing CURE clothes.  Again.

    January 27, 2010
    Lying on his back, watching the passing clouds, he worried over the Nathaniel Hawthorne lookalike’s role in this grim threesome. (Dwell magazine, November 2009)

    Lying on his back, watching the passing clouds, he worried over the Nathaniel Hawthorne lookalike’s role in this grim threesome.

    (Dwell magazine, November 2009)

    January 27, 2010
    the spider in your bubble bath

    the spider in your bubble bath

    January 24, 2010
    iPhone's auto-correct sometimes says the things you're too afraid to say yourself?
    • chris: are you home?
    • me: yep!
    • chris: foods?
    • me: on my way now! what're you thinking?
    • chris: was considering mamoun's before but now wanting some delicious tail
    January 24, 2010

    Dear Sir,

    I just listened to your voicemail from this weekend about the city smelling like maple syrup and so forth.  While I recognize your voice and loved this voicemail so much I just listened to it seven times in a row, the number was blocked and you didn’t leave your name.  I want to tell you it was a wonderful image!  A city of pancakes!  So I am putting this up here, hoping one day you come across this when you’re down and think “hey, well, there is one thing I at least do really well— leave fantastic voicemails.”

    Very much appreciatively,

    Mallory

    January 23, 2010
    We have all officially become this girl. You betta recognize. *But if you don’t, it is the goddess that is Cleo from Sugar and Spice (2001) whose obsession with Conan O’brien leads her to interject her thoughts and fantasies about him into every conversation.

    We have all officially become this girl.

    You betta recognize.

    *But if you don’t, it is the goddess that is Cleo from Sugar and Spice (2001) whose obsession with Conan O’brien leads her to interject her thoughts and fantasies about him into every conversation.

    January 22, 2010
    The Tibetan Fox thinks He’s Better Than You I just want you people to drink in this world-class douchebag known as the Tibetan Fox. Have you ever seen such a holier-than-thou fucking look on a non-dolphin before? I’m not one for slapping foxes, as I generally think they know what they’ve done, but this one really has that look, like the asshole boyfriend of the girl the main guy wants in an 80s movie. Unsurprisingly, he is extremely rare. That’s probably because he thinks if he has too many babies, some of them will turn out to be commoners and he wouldn’t be able to show his square face at the country club anymore.How’s your ivory tower, Tibetan Fox? I’m sure it must be terribly stressful to stand in judgment of the rest of us little people, so why don’t you just retire to your cabin and play lacrosse? You know what, on second thought, WHY DON’T YOU WANDER THE DESERT LOOKING FOR RODENTS. Some of us have to work for a living, Tibetan Fox. We don’t get everything handed to us by a lifetime of hunting and scavenging, you stuck-up snob.

    The Tibetan Fox thinks He’s Better Than You

    I just want you people to drink in this world-class douchebag known as the Tibetan Fox. Have you ever seen such a holier-than-thou fucking look on a non-dolphin before? I’m not one for slapping foxes, as I generally think they know what they’ve done, but this one really has that look, like the asshole boyfriend of the girl the main guy wants in an 80s movie. Unsurprisingly, he is extremely rare. That’s probably because he thinks if he has too many babies, some of them will turn out to be commoners and he wouldn’t be able to show his square face at the country club anymore.

    How’s your ivory tower, Tibetan Fox? I’m sure it must be terribly stressful to stand in judgment of the rest of us little people, so why don’t you just retire to your cabin and play lacrosse? You know what, on second thought, WHY DON’T YOU WANDER THE DESERT LOOKING FOR RODENTS. Some of us have to work for a living, Tibetan Fox. We don’t get everything handed to us by a lifetime of hunting and scavenging, you stuck-up snob.

    January 21, 2010

    mah first lip dub

    Part of an effort to work dat glitter as Bianca calls it - I stripped myself of the Marjorie Stewartbaxter alterego I usually drop into and opted for Annie.  This is what would have happened if instead of stopping at “annimal” when naming her album, she kept going until she got to “anniemallory”

    January 21, 2010

    sir, do you have any idea how super cool you are?

    January 20, 2010
    "You are so, so smitten, it’s bloody fantastic."
    —

    Mike Sexton

    (is so, so Irish)

    January 20, 2010
    If I were a fashion sketch from 1983 and gained 5 lbs in one leg.

    If I were a fashion sketch from 1983 and gained 5 lbs in one leg.

    January 20, 2010
    [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

    I want you back - The Jackson 5

    Oh man, sux 2 b u, d00d- if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.

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