May 2008
33 posts
The Office
Sexually Ambiguous Coworker: I didn’t want to tell you this, but before I started working for you, we met at Sway and you kissed me on the lips.
Straight Boss: What???
Sexually Ambiguous Coworker: Yeah I mean, I thought it was weird, and I didn’t want to say anything…
Straight Boss: Was it an open-mouth, wet one?
…
Straight Boss: Well, how gay was it???!
Sexually Ambiguous Coworker: Think about how weird I felt.
“continued…”
– My coworkers and I were locked out of the office today until noon. We pulled a bench into the middle of the street and sat there until my boss stumbled in, drunk, and topless. He then proceeded to sing into the office intercom and blast the audio from the youtube video that interviews a...
House Guests (edited for long length)
DEAR MALLORY, I THOUGHT INSTEAD OF LEAVING YOU A REAL NOTE I WOULD LEAVE YOU A STICKY BECAUSE YOU REALLY LIKE THINGS THAT ARE COMPUTER LITERATE. I CAME TO THE APARTMENT AND WAS APPALLED TO FIND CRAFTS EVERYWHERE (!). YOU ARE SUCH A MESS. (THIS PART OF THE NOTE IS A BAD JOKE.) ANYWAYS, I GOT MY STUFF AND USED YOUR INTERNET BECAUSE I HAVE YET TO FIGURE OUT AIYA’S WIRELESS. I THINK HER...
The Internet and the Overshare →
This was sent to me out of the blue this afternoon with the preface “I see a lot of you in this girl… except cuter and not as depressed at the end.”
World Science Festival, NYC, May 28 - June 1
gillianmae: Is it weird that I am honestly excited about this? Probably. But tell me these events don’t look a wee bit interesting… Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives: With Mark Oliver Everett 6:00 PM - 8:30 PM , ...
Oh, stooooop it. Youuuu.
Mike: I have a lot of nice things to say about you.
Saturday in the Park.
Woke up at Dave’s. Got dressed, I in a skirt and he in sunglasses, and hopped on the subway to the Grand Street Block Party. Dave and a little boy dressed as Spiderman watched each other carefully as Jordan and I bought jumpers and got fitted at Mandate of Heaven. The three of ate tacos on a stoop, window shopped, and pet small dogs. Got floats at the milkshake place near Bedford and...
oxy moronic.
Fence: Living alone with someone is absolutely the greatest thing in the world.
Great Ideaz brought to you by Malzwerld
I think next Halloween I want to go as Carmen Sandiego. Now I know this is a bit premature, but hear me out… If Dave doesn’t break up with me after I give him his dreaded birthday present next week, I think a good idea would be for him to go as Waldo (which would not be that far of a stretch.) Then we can not show up at parties so everyone can ask “where’s Waldo?”...
GetHuman.com →
Man vs Machine: this awesome website gives you the formulas needed to navigate your inquiries to a live person through automated systems.
“All my friends and I have the Wii. I didn’t ask for anything for my...”
– My 12-year-old cousin, Spencer.
The name of this website translates to "So Cute It... →
I think I just found my e-calling.
Anton Glamb's "About Me" on Facebook
“I throw up a couple times a night a couple times a week. I need a knee surgery. I’m recording an EP gonna drop soon on a new label Heavy Roc Music. I like to wipe paint off of me if I can, but sometimes it’s stuck for a little while. I try to brush my teeth and shower at least twice a week, whether I need it or not. I had a nightmare that I was at a football game last night....
True Story!
Pocket those $8— you can use google maps to visit the penguins at central park zoo.
Kids These Days
Yesterday my cousin accidentally cut herself shaving after breaking up via e-mail with her boyfriend and tomorrow she is taking the SATs. My cousin is 10-years old.
